


Paradise

by Weelderig_Waardeloos



Series: Norwegian Nights [50]
Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF
Genre: 2012, ESC, Eurovision, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-26
Updated: 2009-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 15:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weelderig_Waardeloos/pseuds/Weelderig_Waardeloos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disaster strikes at Serbia's presentation show when Coldplay decide to steal the song of Zeljko Joksimovic...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paradise

Paradise

Zeljko Joksimovic was sitting in his room, writing the finishing touches for his Eurovision song, 'Nije ljubav stvar'.  
"Ah, it's finally finished!" Zeljko smiled, "Perfect!"  
He had also written an English version of the song, called 'Synonym', which he would present with his Serbian version. Zeljko was hoping that nothing else strange would happen involving the Eurovision, after the weird events of the allocation draw.  
"It's getting late, I guess," Zeljko yawned and he left the room to go to bed.  
He didn't notice that he had left the window slightly open, as a man climbing a tree leaned over, and pulled out a camera. He picked up the paper with the Eurovision song on it, and took a picture of it.  
"Excellent," the man said, "Now we have a copy of the song... this Coldplay mission has been a success, I shall report back to the mansion with it..."  
And the man climbed down from the tree and ran off into the night.  
\----  
It was now a few days later, and the British band Coldplay were sitting in their mansion, Guy Berryman was looking down at a piece of paper he was holding.  
"So," said Chris Marten, "Did you get it? Did you get it?"  
"Yes," said Guy, "It took a while, but I have taken a copy of Serbia's Eurovision song for this year..."  
"Good," said Johnny Buckland, "Now we can steal it and make it into our own song, and no one will know because no one except for the Serbian singer has seen this song!"  
"It really is perfect," said Will Champion, "Only the Eurovision Serbian shall know about this... people will even think that he stole our song! Ahahaha!"  
"But... I want no one to know about our stealing!" yelled Chris Marten. He was worried because a few years ago Coldplay had broken into the studio of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and tried to steal some of their songs but they were caught and arrested by the police.  
"I know what you're thinking," said Will, "About the Red Hot Chili Peppers thing. But that was back when the police cared about things other than the Eurovision... when everyone cared about things other than the Eurovision..."  
"But don't you see! This is about Eurovision! We cannot let another mistake happen like last time..." said Chris, "So I have a plan... we must fly to Serbia and execute the Eurovision singer, with the power of Mylo Xyloto!!! Ahahahahahahaha!!!"  
"I agree!" said Will, "If we don't, the evil Eurovision fans could turn against us! We must go to Serbia and enforce the power of Coldplay!"  
"But I've already been to Serbia!" said Guy.  
"Excellent, you'll know it better than us then..." said Chris, "And you know where the Serbian guy lives so it'll be easy."  
"Well, if we get there tomorrow he won't be in his house because he'll be at Belgrade Arena showing his new Eurovision song to the public," said Guy, "So we must hurry if we want to go through with your plan!"  
"Curses!" yelled Chris, "We must stop him at once!"  
\----  
The next day, Zeljko Joksimovic was sitting in the green room of the Belgrade Arena, waiting to present his Eurovision song to the public.  
"Zeljko!" called a voice from outside, "It's time! Come on out!"  
Zeljko went out onto the stage of the arena. The audience clapped and cheered.  
"Hello everyone!" Zeljko smiled, "Welcome to my presentation show! Today I shall finally show you Serbia's Eurovision song for 2012!"  
Just then, the door to the arena flew open, and four people were standing there, holding machine guns. It was Coldplay.  
"Stop right there!" yelled Chris Marten, pointing his machine gun at Zeljko.  
"What's going on?!" Zeljko yelled, stepping back towards the green room.  
"You will not show your Eurovision song to the public, ever!" yelled Chris, "Your song no longer exists, all that exists is our song, Paradise! Ahahahahaha!"  
"This is lunacy!" Zeljko said, "What the hell are you even doing here?!"  
"We're here to stop you and the ridiculous Eurovision Song Contest!" Chris laughed, "Get the audience out of this god damn place, Guy."  
"Ok," Guy said, pointing his machine gun at the audience, "Well, you heard him, get out!"  
The audience went to the huge doors and opened them, running out of the stadium.  
Chris Marten pointed his machine gun at Zeljko.  
"Now don't be getting any ideas," Chris laughed, "You're not going anywhere!"  
"Nooo!" Zeljko yelled, "Stop it, what do you want from me?!"  
Suddenly, a bright light appeared, and Aslan, the great lion of Narnia, was standing there on the stage, by Zeljko.  
"What the...?" Zeljko yelled.  
"Shoot that god damn lion this instant!" Chris yelled.  
"Now now Coldplay," Aslan growled, "Surely you didn't think you could attack Zeljko and the Eurovision Song Contest and think that you could get away with it! Oh no, I'll make you pay for this!"  
Suddenly, the machine guns disappeared from Coldplay's hands and reappeared on the stage by Aslan and Zeljko.  
Another bright light appeared and Kaliopi teleported into the room.  
"Zeljko!" Kaliopi yelled, "Are you alright?!"  
"Uh... yeah," Zeljko said, "Hey Kaliopi..."  
"Hey," Kaliopi said, "Oh, Aslan! I see you're here!"  
"Yes, I see that you too were watching the Serbian presentation," Aslan smiled, "Small world."  
"Wait?!" Zeljko said, "Who is this... what... a talking lion?!"  
"Ah, Zeljko. I am Aslan, the great lion of Narnia..."  
"Narnia? Wait a minute... you're the lion from the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest! The one that attacked Jon Ola Sand! I thought you were just another one of his animals from Berlin Zoo... I..."  
"That's what a lot of people thought about me, Zeljko," Aslan smiled, "But no, I went there to stop Ola Sand's many acts of tyranny against the Eurovision..."  
"Aslan is sort of... a guardian of the Eurovision Song Contest," Kaliopi smiled, "And in a way, so am I!"  
Suddenly, they heard cars pulling up outside the Belgrade Arena.  
"Ah, people. I better go," Aslan smiled, "I assume you can take it from here, Kaliopi?"  
"Why of course, Aslan," Kaliopi said.  
"Good," Aslan said, before disappearing in a flash of light and returning to Aslan's Country.  
"This is nuts," Zeljko said.  
"Well, you'd rather it be nuts with me and Aslan than normal with those loons Coldplay, wouldn't you?"  
"Uh.. right! Kaliopi, you'll stay here, won't you?" Zeljko asked, "Until the police or whoever come..."  
"Ah, police," Kaliopi laughed, "I don't see why people don't just let me finish off things, it's far easier..."  
Just then, people in blue and red uniforms ran through the open door of the arena. The Serbian police had arrived at the building.  
"Ah, too late," said Kaliopi, "Too bad."  
"We're here to arrest the evil band Coldplay!" yelled one of the police officers.  
"Phew," said Zeljko, "Thanks, Kaliopi!"  
"You're welcome. I just wonder how they got machine guns in the first place," Kaliopi said.  
"Hmmm... and that's not all..." said Zeljko, looking down at one of the guns, "On the machine gun, look, it's a picture of a crown with a Union Jack on it, and you know what that means, don't you?"  
"No," said Kaliopi, "Wait... surely not... the British royal family?"  
"Yes," Zeljko said, "This must mean... someone from the British royal family supplied Coldplay with these guns..."  
"And I have a good idea who!" Kaliopi yelled, "Two certain royals who despise the Eurovision so much that they resort to disgraceful tactics such as this! As if what they did to Iceland wasn't bad enough!"  
"It's sad to think, that anyone could hate the Eurovision enough to do something like this..." Zeljko said sadly.  
"Yes it is," Kaliopi said, "But don't worry Zeljko, for I will stop them in their evil tracks!"  
\----  
And so Coldplay were dragged off to jail, convicted of crimes against the Eurovision Song Contest. The whole world was shocked at such a thing happening at Serbia's presentation show, they had not expected any more bad things to happen at the Eurovision Song Contest after so many other things had happened, and they were horrified that people would go to such great lengths to attack the Eurovision. The one consolation they had was that Kaliopi, the guardian of the Eurovision Song Contest, was also going to great lengths to protect it from the people who wanted to destroy it. And Kaliopi was happy, after having proved that she could help animals at the Grand National, now showed yet again to the world that she could help people too.  
\----  
It was a few days later now, and Zeljko was about to present his Eurovision song to the Serbian public.  
Zeljko stood on the stage, looking at the audience.  
"Uh... welcome! Hopefully we won't have any incidents, like last time," Zeljko said.  
Zeljko looked beside him, and standing there, was Kaliopi Bukle, the guardian of the Eurovision.  
"No Zeljko," Kaliopi smiled, "There won't be any more incidents, I'll make sure of that!"  
The audience cheered, they were waving Serbian and Macedonian flags. They had been very impressed that Kaliopi had saved their Eurovision entrant and were very happy that Kaliopi was protecting the Eurovision Song Contest.  
"Thank you Kaliopi," Zeljko smiled.  
Zeljko performed his Eurovision song, ''Nije ljubav stvar' to the audience, and they all loved it. He then performed the English version 'Synonym', and they all loved that too. He performed some of his other songs for the audience too, such as his 2004 Eurovision song, 'Lane Moje'. Then, after the show was over, he went back to the green room, where Kaliopi was waiting.  
"So you see, it went without incident, just as I said," Kaliopi said.  
"Excellent," Zeljko smiled, "Let's just see if you can keep it up until the Eurovision comes around."  
"Oh, I will," Kaliopi said, "You can count on that!"  
Zeljko felt that with Aslan and Kaliopi protecting the Eurovision, there would be no need to worry about anything happening in the future. With two powerful guardians, there was no way that any of the Eurovision's enemies could stop the song contest from happening.  
The End.


End file.
